I have bin learning alot about my sons birth defect this week . Its hard to hear things like could be oxygen dependent, delayed development, hearing loss from all the medication, bowl obstruction, seizures, chronic lung disease and failure to thrive. I have heard alot of success stories this week but also alot of scary stories. Im trying so hard to go on and except whats ahead. I did find a support group which helps alot. One lady from BC contacted me and told me her story its nice having ppl understand my pain right now.
We are told to plan for this little man yet i have that fear if i connect to much with him being okay what if hes not and i come home to a finished baby room with know baby. Im a mother and this is the one time in my life i have no idea how to fix things and it makes me feel helpless. I know its in the doctors hands to bring my son home to me.
This situation doesnt always feel real i think i have moments of denial.
I also learnt to many ppl have never heard of this birth defect. The sad thing is parents who find out have no idea what it is yet it happens to enough babies it should be recognized. I think Jacob was given to us to get the word out their and spread hope to those parents who feel the pain we are right now.
The hardest term im trying to stomach this week its my child will be special needs. I know their could be worse things like he could die from this. But i never thought we would be that family. I dont mean that in a terrible way its just hard to hear.
My dad said to me that if god gave me this child because he knows i can handle it and that im an amazing mother who loves my child. This will teach our family to love in a whole new way and bring us alot closer. My father is a smart man and really helps me with my outlook i have no idea where i would be right now without him.
Love everyone alot and keep praying for Jacob
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